My grandmother ... my 80-year-old grandmother living on Social Security in Section 8 housing ... offered to cosign five figures worth of student loans. She had always believed in me, no matter what I had in mind to do. She always supported me and encouraged me – and, as always, I was overwhelmed with appreciation for the offer, even as I declined it.Listening to that song before the race serves as a mental prompt to remember her in these moments, to invite her spirit to stand on the sidelines, screaming as loud as she can in her native Brooklyn accent, cheering me on and urging me toward the finish.The third song of the morning was where I began to mentally shift gears, to pump my mind up, to push the stretches just a little father: “Homeland” by Kenny Rogers. On this morning, it was only when I saw Lisa bemusedly give me a sidelong glance that I realized I was singing the words, “Knock us right down, we’ll get up again” out loud. I tuned out the music for a few minutes so I could. ”“A complete and utter ass, from what I observed tonight. I analyze people for a living, Jenny. If I may, I’d like to make a few observations.”I nodded, wondering where he was going.“I get the impression this is not new behavior for him. I have the feeling he’s disrespected you quite often in the past. I also think you’d like to leave but you have no money, no social system, and nowhere to go.”I was amazed how right he was. My parents had passed in an accident and I’d received a pretty good inheritance. Mark was blowing throught the money pretty fast so I put it in a money market account that could only be accessed by me. When he found out we had a horrible arguement over it. I almost always gave in, but not this time.“The only way that money comes out is to buy a house. I’m tired of renting and we’ve already gone through half of it. At the rate we’re going, and by we I mean you, it will all be gone in less than a year. Not gonna happen, understand?”He didn’t like it but there was.
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